Are You Selling Yourself Short?

Have you been your own worst enemy? Sitting at your desk, doing your work, not raising your hand and hoping no one really pushes you to grow? Is it time to polish your brilliance and let people see who you are and what you can do? Read more

Want More Satisfaction?

This week marks the anniversary of the largest game changing decision in my life. It is my son’s birthday. He turns 11. I could never have known what the choice to be a parent would mean for my life or profession. All the subsequent changes and decisions it would tee up for us. I know pretty much every parent can relate.

I am a single mom “by choice.” I had my son with an anonymous donor on my own. Making that crazy, brave decision, and then following through with all the actions required to make it so. Read more

Leading Lawyers: Choosing Vulnerability

Here is my recent post for The Lawyers Club of San Diego Leadership Committee reflecting on a personal tragedy and why we need to challenge certain presumptions about kindness and vulnerability.

A paradigm shift starts with individual leaders. Begin to be brave and dare to challenge the idea that vulnerability means weakness and failure.

How have you stepped into and through fear to support others?



Need Mindset Tools for this Wild Ride?

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Here we are at Thanksgiving once again. I feel as if I have been on Toad’s Wild Ride. The year has flown by so fast. At the same time, I swear it has been a decade in the making! Right? Do you feel that way?

I think everyone can agree that the pace of life and the speed of change have increased exponentially. Both in the legal field itself as well as our world generally. Fast paced change is the norm now. That means increasing levels of on-going stress and anxiety. Time to determine how best to support your resilience and long term success. Read more

Want to De-stress Your Brain? Improve Your Emotional Intelligence

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I get a lot of questions about why someone should bother with developing their emotional intelligence. After all, you have gotten this far in life and done pretty well, and besides who has the energy or time? I understand, if I am anything it is pragmatic. What I can tell you is that there are so many benefits to developing your EQ, it is rather phenomenal. That is why I am now a certified Six Seconds Emotional Intelligence Assessor, and I utilize these tools (among others) to assist my clients in improving their practices and lives.

One Major Benefit: Retraining Your Brain to Reduce Stress.

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Getting Beyond Nice


I know a lot of people who think being labeled as “nice” is the kiss of death. It means your bland, boring and can be taken advantage of – weak, a push-over. In the dating realm, when someone describes you as “nice”, the fear is you are somehow unattractive. Right?

Think about it for a moment. If your friend sets you up with a guy and all she can say is “He is really nice” even when prompted for more, all your instincts probably will tell you to run. Nice should be a good thing, right? Yes and, well, for leaders and individuals with a backbone, I have to say many or us prefer words like kind, compassionate, empathic, authentic and humble. The language we use matters if we want people to be more open to developing new leadership skills.

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Create Success that Embraces You


I sometimes wonder if I will ever stop measuring my “success” against that achieved by others. I know what success means to me. I do have a self-definition for my own success that has morphed through the years and base decisions upon it. Yet, our culture, and practically every message in events that I attend or the media glorify outward success (position, money, status, beauty) along with the speed and assumed ease of attainment. In moments of struggle or doubt, I find myself questioning my decisions and my path.   Why am I not like that other person? Why is my journey so convoluted and twisted? Why is it that I am not normal?

Then I think – thank God I am not normal!
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11 Tips to Foster Belonging


Do you belong at work or in your professional or community organizations? I am asking about your subjective, internal experience of belonging. Feeling as if you are accepted as yourself. Are you accepted? Do you belong? Or, are you merely fitting in?

Effective leadership nurtures belonging and a sense of community. Being able to address indirect or overt behaviors, beliefs or unconscious biases that create separation or the feeling of exclusion is a necessary skill. As an individual faced with disenfranchising behaviors and attitudes, there are coping skills and important mindset practices to develop.

What does it mean to feel like Read more

Top Ten Ways to Lower Stress

The most prevalent complaints in our high-paced, high impact culture are somehow related to stress.  From the ongoing, regular stress that comes from professional 24/7 demands, beastly traffic and non-stop plugged-in living, to specific life events that knock us for a loop, the impact of stress accumulates.

Pay attention to how you deal with stress. For me there is some stress that is “good” and some that is downright “bad”.
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Improve Your Mindset With this Key Practice

Practice Letting Go of Perfection

I was on my way to my first court appearance. Newly minted baby attorney. Passed the California Bar and sworn in the week before. I was terrified. So terrified I was practicing saying my name because I honestly thought I might forget it. Visions of my mind going blank were all I could see – what a horrible feeling.

You see, I wanted everything (meaning me) to be perfect. If you are honest, most of us high achievers or want-to-be-high-achievers (the Super-hyped type A’s), expect ourselves to be perfect. You might say a good bit of arrogance comes with the territory. Deep down we know we are not perfect, as no one is, but this does not stop our constant expectation that we (and those around us) will live up to an impossibly high standard. It’s a matter of control, really, if we control everything to perfection no one will see our humanity.
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