Getting Beyond Nice

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I know a lot of people who think being labeled as “nice” is the kiss of death. It means your bland, boring and can be taken advantage of – weak, a push-over. In the dating realm, when someone describes you as “nice”, well you are most likely unattractive. Right?

Think about it for a moment. If your supposed well-intentioned friend sets you up with a guy and all she can say is “He is really nice” even when prompted for more, all your instincts should tell you to run. I know this from experience, trust me. The specific gentleman on this blind date I am referencing not only ended up being unbelievably homely (I am being kind), but he was also stalker material as another friend of mine found out when she dated him. She actually ended up having to get a restraining order – seriously. So, run when you can.

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Create Success that Embraces You

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I sometimes wonder if I will ever stop measuring my “success” against that achieved by others. I know what success means to me. I do have a self-definition for my own success that has morphed through the years and base decisions upon it. Yet, our culture, and practically every message in events that I attend or the media glorify outward success (position, money, status, beauty) along with the speed and assumed ease of attainment. In moments of struggle or doubt, I find myself questioning my decisions and my path.   Why am I not like that other person? Why is my journey so convoluted and twisted? Why is it that I am not normal?

Then I think – thank God I am not normal!
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11 Tips to Foster Belonging

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Do you belong at work or in your professional or community organizations? I am asking about your subjective, internal experience of belonging. Feeling as if you are accepted as yourself. Are you accepted? Do you belong? Or, are you merely fitting in?

Effective leadership nurtures belonging and a sense of community. Being able to address indirect or overt behaviors, beliefs or unconscious biases that create separation or the feeling of exclusion is a necessary skill. As an individual faced with disenfranchising behaviors and attitudes, there are coping skills and important mindset practices to develop.

What does it mean to feel like Read more

Top Ten Ways to Lower Stress

The most prevalent complaints in our high-paced, high impact culture are somehow related to stress.  From the ongoing, regular stress that comes from professional 24/7 demands, beastly traffic and non-stop plugged-in living, to specific life events that knock us for a loop, the impact of stress accumulates.

Pay attention to how you deal with stress. For me there is some stress that is “good” and some that is downright “bad”.
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Improve Your Mindset With this Key Practice

Practice Letting Go of Perfection

I was on my way to my first court appearance. Newly minted baby attorney. Passed the California Bar and sworn in the week before. I was terrified. So terrified I was practicing saying my name because I honestly thought I might forget it. Visions of my mind going blank were all I could see – what a horrible feeling.

You see, I wanted everything (meaning me) to be perfect. If you are honest, most of us high achievers or want-to-be-high-achievers (the Super-hyped type A’s), expect ourselves to be perfect. You might say a good bit of arrogance comes with the territory. Deep down we know we are not perfect, as no one is, but this does not stop our constant expectation that we (and those around us) will live up to an impossibly high standard. It’s a matter of control, really, if we control everything to perfection no one will see our humanity.
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Want Sustained Leadership Success? Remember Your Roots.

What are you doing to make sure you stay grounded and clear about your path and vision forward for 2017 – this year that promises increased change? How are you keeping your footing and maintaining perspective?  What sustains you, allowing you to thrive and support those you lead? In other words, what makes up your roots?

If you could use some guidance on answering these questions, let’s talk and support you. Click here to make self-care a vital part of your success plan for 2017 – if you do, you will be surprised how rewarding it is in unexpected ways.

Effective Leaders Know Who They are and What is Truly Important to Them

To thrive in life and business, it is vitally important to have practices, people and systems to remind you of who you really are and what is truly important to you.  I know how easy it is to get caught up in the day-to-day of a hectic professional life coupled with personal and familial responsibilities. It is all too easy to feel as if you are on a merry-go-round spinning out of control. Particularly when events around you are also in major flux, staying centered and connected to your vision and goals can be a challenge.
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The Mindset of Play

Learning How to be More Creative

I was reminded today in my meditation of the importance of play. Thought I would pass it along – lately I keep getting reminded that I am too serious these days. There is nothing like laughter and fun to boost those endorphins! Laughter is so amazing, and I am working at laughing more. Sounds silly doesn’t it? Working at laughing more. I think so, but silly is okay. Truth is that play and laughter feed our souls our creativity and our brains.

We all get so serious when we grow up.   Most things, while perhaps important, are really not as life-or-death as we feel them to be.   It is pretty simple, play and the open-minded, joyful, childlike mindset that comes with it are HUGE contributors to creativity. Creativity is what we all require to continue to evolve and succeed – even thrive – in this fast paced world.
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Do you want more resilience?

There are lessons that nature shows us every day. Lessons born from the innate knowing, biology and instincts of animals. If we pay attention, these animal “guides” or totems will show us through metaphor what needs focus in our lives. What could help to overcome an obstacle or block to progress and forward momentum.  Providing much needed inspiration, wisdom and beauty for a challenging time. The shamanic traditions recognize the wisdom and magic that can be found in the messages of animals, and they are just as present and applicable to our modern day culture when we pay attention.

I am writing in the days right after our Presidential election. Read more

Accessing the Power of Gratitude

The practice of gratitude as a tool for happiness has been in the mainstream for years. Long-term studies support gratitude’s effectiveness, suggesting that a positive, appreciative attitude contributes to greater success in work, greater health, peak performance in sports and business, a higher sense of well-being, and a faster rate of recovery from surgery.

But while we may acknowledge gratitude’s many benefits, it still can be difficult to sustain. So many of us are trained to notice what is broken, undone or lacking in our lives. And for gratitude to meet its full healing potential in our lives, it needs to become more than just a Thanksgiving word. We have to learn a new way of looking at things, a new habit. And that can take some time.

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